I Love Me: The Journey to Self-Acceptanceby Sierra Sparks, MFT on 05/09/19
Originally posted: 04/09/2019
The concept of acceptance is central to my approach in therapy. So often, others share with me their difficulties with self image, self care, and look at me funny when I ask about Self Love. For some of you, Gentle Readers, perhaps these are foreign concepts. Life shows us, through its trials and tribulations, that so often We can be our own obstacle to contentment, happiness, and peace. Perhaps trauma has manifested in our childhood. Perhaps significant others or blood relatives have molded our self image for Us, and we've lost our sense of Self. For various reasons, we may have a surface level knowledge of what it means to really Love YourSELF.
I may have mentioned to you, Gentle Readers, my past as a therapy client in the many facets of individual, couples, and group work. During that time I never realized the courage it takes to just be the real YOU. No hesitations, no under exaggerations, just organically YOU. This lies at the heart of Self Love; its not a conceited, narcissistic view of the Self, but an acknowledgement and honoring of what makes you YOU. After all, we can't always depend on other humans to fulfill our needs for companionship, validation, and tender loving care. But we can always rely on ourSelves.
Virginia Satir is an acclaimed family therapist, who was also a public speaker and writer that shared her beliefs about what makes people tick. She's been deceased for over thirty years, yet her work is central to my philosophy as a fellow human being. I need to share with you her most famous poem.
i am me
My Declaration of Self-esteem
In all the world,
there is no one else exactly like me -
everything that comes out of me is authentically mine,
because I alone choose it - I own everything about me - my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or to myself -
I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears -
I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts -
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me,
and other aspects that I do not know -
but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself,
I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me -
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do,
and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turned out to be unfitting, I can discard that which I feel is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded -
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me -
I own me, and therefore I can engineer me -
I am me &
I AM OKAY
by Virginia Satir
Gentle Readers, you must know and believe truly that You are Enough. You have imperfections, problems, YOU GOT ISSUES, and you are a work in progress. Let that be Okay. Let it be enough that you are working to improve yourself, and becoming intentional in your life. Be Patient with yourself.
Peace, Love and Tranquility
Sierra Therapy Center