Gratitude Making Marriages Last Longer : Marriage and Family Therapy Discussions

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Gratitude Making Marriages Last Longer

by Sierra Sparks, MFT on 05/28/18

Gratitude seems to be the new hot word lately. I have to admit, I'm bought in.Yes, I do believe in the power of positive thoughts, affirmations and quantum attraction. Today, I decided to do some research on the science behind gratitude in relationships (being that I'm a relationship therapist) and came across a very interesting research study from the University of Georgia. The study revealed that a key ingredient to improving marriages is gratitude. Believing that your spouse deeply appreciates and values you directly influences how you feel about your relationship and your spouse in turn as well as your level of relational commitment. In fact, spousal expression of gratitude was the number one predictor of marriage quality. 

Interesting, however this proves challenging when one partner or the other begins to feel unappreciated and undervalued. This can lead to a vicious stalemate on love. Sadly, this is where I meet most couples and sometimes neither want to budge to attend the others needs of admiration, praise, attention and affection. One person shifting the cycle can divert the negative pattern to a more positive one and a healthy, happy relationship. 
What is the solution? Gratitude. The old saying is true, you don't know what you've got until it's gone. Shift the dynamic and practice making a list of 10 things your grateful for in your relationship. Share one a day for 10 days. Watch how your relationship begins to shift and in turn, you feel more valued and loved as well. 

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